Monday, August 17, 2009

Guaranteed conversation killers

"Why are you photographing that X?"

"Oh, just the way the shape of that branch combines with that post back there caught my eye. Plus the color of the grass in this light, something about it goes with that pink thingy over there and I thought it would make a nice scene so now I'm just waiting for the right car to pass on that street. You a photographer?"

END OF CONVERSATION. YOU KILLED IT.


"Getting any good shots?"

"Maybe, I have no idea. I never know until I look at the film later."

END OF CONVERSATION. YOU KILLED IT.


"I guess you can take my photo? What's it for?"

"I don't know. I just thought the way you were slumped over like that could make for an entertaining photo."

END OF CONVERSATION. YOU KILLED IT.


"What kind of camera is that?"

"It's an X. I used to have a Y. Great camera. It's a bit like the Z, only difference is the V on the W went all the way to some number instead of some other number. They were only manufactured from some year to some other stupid year so they're rare nowadays. Now let me tell you about the old U camera on the other hand..."

END OF CONVERSATION. YOU KILLED IT.


"Why did you bring so many photos of the same thing?"

"I had a real hard time editing so I figured I'd print them all and you could help me decide. Can you help me narrow it down to the best ten or fifteen?"

END OF CONVERSATION. YOU KILLED IT.


"What? Why are you all looking at me like that? You all four looked like you were having so much with that little gel tube I thought it make a nice photo. What? Is there some sort of hangup? Just go back to what you were doing. Pretend I'm not here."

END OF CONVERSATION. YOU KILLED IT.


"Hey do that again. Put your arm...No, over that way a little. Now look how you were just looking. Make your eyebrows how they were. Your eyebrows are too low. No, a little more...Not that much. Back...OK now think about whatever were just thinking about. Make your face just how it was, no not with the chin...Steady. STOP! FREEZE! Hold it...OK, now just act natural."

CONVERSATION OVER, BUDDY.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is so funny. So true. On most occasions I dread to talk photography. I know if I answer honestly, it's a GCK for sure.

thechrisproject said...

Shit, I'm guilty of at least three or four of those at one time or another, especially the first two.

Dalton said...

I just got back from two weeks in Spain. Everybody keeps asking "Did you take any pictures?"

To which I have to reply: "Sorta. You know, not any vacation pictures. Bushes, rocks, that sort of thing."

I KILLED IT.